ENG 328 Journal

2004-02-27T14:35:00.000-08:00

I have learned many ideas of writing from the writings and readings I have done from Strunk and White’s Elements of Style and Williams’ Style Toward Clarity and Grace. Writing can be improved the more I practice and it also depends on how much of what you read will stick in your mind. A lot of Strunk and White’s rules were general so they will either not stick or won’t be thought of since the rules were so brief. But Williams’ rules have stuck since we have discussed them in class a lot and have done several writings making us think about what we have discussed and read.
There are some ideas that I keep in mind every time I write following the reading of Williams’ book. I never knew what nominalization was. Now that I know what it is and I agree with how it helps, so therefore I try to avoid it, I try to stay true to this rule. The whole idea of the book is to make your writing clearer and easier to understand. There are a lot of hints and tips attached to each chapter. This goes from avoiding negatives to an audience analysis. A lot of people write in a selfish tone that does not think what the person reading the writing will think or even understand. When you keep these aspects in mind you can expect a better lesson taught and more feedback that actually reflects rather than just tells.
If we were to follow only Strunk and White’s rules, most of the feedback would be grammar related. A part in the book does mention how to be clearer but it does not go into great depth as to how.
It’s really important to use Williams’ rule of giving out new information at the end of the sentence. I would always state the new information at the beginning and just explain it more until I was finished with the sentence. But it makes more sense to state it at the end so it leads into your next sentence that will explain it more. As he said, begin a sentence well and then state the new information at the end.
Making a paper less wordy shows more intelligence than adding more. I was writing the same word twice for a long time. For example I would put, “there can be clear and sharp words to describe.” Only one of these words needs to be used. There are many other ways people do this, such as implying a category, for example “pink in color.” You have to keep in mind that the reader is someone intelligent and does not need common elements explained to them. Most people know this and as Professor Benninghoff said in class, they do this unconsciously. People do not realize they are doing this. That is why after reading this book, a key element is to take control and realize how to make your writing better by writing less but still sticking to the point and explaining in detail that is crucial to your point.
This also relates to speaking in a less formal tone. Before I read the book I was using Microsoft Word’s thesaurus feature when I wrote. I would change common words to ones that sounded more formal. I realize now that this doesn’t make the paper better, it may just confuse the reader. You should not write in a completely informal tone, but it is just not necessary to write acting smarter than you actually are. But even if you are smart and want to use more complex words, keeping Williams’ rules in mind, you should not.

2004-02-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

I browsed through the blogs and read the ones that had a comparison of Strunk and White’s book and Williams’. I agreed with a lot that I read and most of it is similar to what we have discussed in class and how I feel.
Kacey’s blog was the one I chose which has a good description of the two books and how they differ. Strunk and White is based solely on rules and to follow with her quote, “the facts speak for themselves.” This is very true with his book. They are written in a format that we can look back on quickly and read through just as fast.
But as she said, they do not offer an explanation for why we should choose to use his rules. “They must be employed” and that is actually all that the book implies. Her example on page forty one where it states the correct usage of the word “whether” was a perfect example of this analysis. The person that reads this along with many other rules is never told why they should use this rule. Her quote of the book being, “numerical, simplistic, and straight-forward” is the exact feedback someone should get out of the book and it should be even more clear after reading Williams.
Her analysis of Williams was very similar to my own. I found the examples given by Williams very easy to follow too. Another thing I took away was how she put it, “adequate reasoning.” When I was finished reading a rule and the many examples given, I understood why we should use the rules. That is the main issue on how this book differs from Strunk and White’s. The “why” and “how” it will help us speaks more to me than a book that just lists and states.
Kacey’s example of being clear and Williams’ approach in explaining what it means to be clear rather than just stating it was a good and appropriate example. By going into depth of why and how we can adapt and follow this rule of his is very effective. He takes an idea, explains each part of the idea, and then says how we can use it.
I shared the same opinions with Matt’s feedback as well. I felt that some rules in Strunk and White were a bit harder to understand too and that “not every concept could apply to every case.” Some points brought up in Williams’ book were difficult to remember and grasp as well but they were very useful to me too. I reflected back to my own writing and as Matt said, I found “that I use some of the principles of ‘bad writing’ in my own writing.” After finishing the book and having the discussions we do in class I am now aware of some things I am doing wrong in my writing and how I can fix them.

2004-02-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

Joseph Williams’ book of Style: Towards Clarity and Grace discusses the elements that I wrote about in my Blog about Strunk and White, yet it takes it to another level. Rather than only telling us how to improve our writing, Williams shows. It has many supporting examples which helped a lot. Strunk and White’s book was more of an instructional manual as opposed to Williams’ guide which went deeper into the art of writing and how to make the reader understand clearer. It does not just think about the writer but it also thinks about the audience.
One of the points that I discussed in my reading responses of Williams was when he show that a paragraph that seems to be based around all facts can have characters present. This makes it more of a story than an explanation. When I am writing a paper I like to create characters and I felt this was an easier way for readers to follow along. The Strunk and White rule I wrote about described how to properly write a character’s name with a stature. This comparison shows how I received one helpful tip from one book and another from the other book. Though there is no direct correlation between these two tips, it just simply shows that the first one makes you look at the writing as a whole and the other is more of a technical aspect. Strunk and White’s can be easily followed while Williams’ requires some more time and effort. Both rules allow you to get your point across but Williams’ book asks you to think more.
It is true that Williams does cover many technical rules such as shortening paragraphs and not using a sentence such as “These carrots they are amazing.” But I feel that this rule is more helpful than learning a better way to write a date. Also I found that there were more common mistakes listed by Strunk and White than there were by Williams.
Another rule I specified was the part that told what happened when you made the reader part of the writing. This allows the audience to understand better since the writing speaks directly to them. This relates to rule number sixteen by Strunk and White. The rule prefers “the specific to the general.” Both of these rules make the writing a lot more easier to understand for the reader.
Strunk and White was simply a rule book where I read through it already knowing a lot. But in Williams’ book I felt myself learning a lot of new things that I had not seen analyzed before. But as I said in my blog about Strunk and White, there were rules that I found useful in my writing. They were more simple than what Williams discusses. Their lessons are very brief and Williams’ are more complex.
But for someone like me who has not read a lot of books about style or how to improve my writing, it is difficult to grasp onto the ideas of Williams this quickly. I need to read through the book again, look at it a lot closer and actually do exercises demonstrating to myself that his ideas have entered my mind and through repetition I believe they can stay set. For Strunk and White’s book I felt I did not need this as much since it was a lot shorter and went through everything quickly. It dealt with easier to grasp ideas. Also it was a lot more technical through some parts such as the first, so it was just a reminder rather than new lessons.

2004-02-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

(Original) Eastern Michigan University seeks an atmosphere of community, trust, and commitment among all segments of its campus--students, faculty, and staff. Its goals are to encourage instructional growth, research, scholarship, and artistic pursuits and to provide service to the local community, the state, nation, and world. It offers undergraduate programs in the colleges and departments listed below as well as graduate study in selected disciplines which may lead to the master's or specialist's degrees.

(Rewrite) Are you either a student, a faculty member, or part of the staff, and consider yourself trusting and committing? Well then Eastern Michigan University would love to have you join their community. Their goals include: instructing growth, researching, scholarships, and the pursuing of artistic intent. Also Eastern Michigan University wants to provide service to the local community, the state, nation, and the world. They offer undergraduate programs in the colleges and departments listed below. Lastly, they have graduate study in certain disciplines which may lead to a master’s or specialist’s degree.

I will now explain why I revised this passage in the way that I did. I don’t necessarily feel that it was bad writing, but it did need to be written in a better way so it could be easier to read and follow for readers.
To begin, I did not use nominalizations as discussed on page thirty. Rather than using nouns such as commitment and pursuits, I used the verbs committing and pursuing. This created more action for the subject.
This leads into what was said on page twenty about making the subjects more known. I used “Eastern Michigan University” a few times so people remember who the subject of the passage is, who the main character is. I didn’t want them to get lost in all of the facts and not remember what University this is actually about.
On page twenty one, Williams talks about the verbs that go with the subject “name the crucial actions those characters are part of.” So I took that into account with the verbs that followed the subject, Eastern Michigan University.
Another rule I used was found on page fifty seven. It tells you to make the audience part of the passage. I used “you” so that the paragraph spoke more directly to the person reading it. This makes “the reader the topic of a sequence of sentences.” The reader can follow it more easily.
It was also necessary to break up the paragraph. The original passage was three sentences. For the length of the paragraph I felt that this was too long. I broke it up and made it into six sentences. This way it is easier to read and flows a lot better. Rather then spitting out all of the information at once, it now slows down and takes it’s time.

2004-02-08T22:33:00.000-08:00

In reflecting on the usefulness of Strunk and Whites Elements of Style, I have found a couple of points that relate to me as a student and as a writer. Though I have not read the entire book yet, I will discuss two rules that I liked in relation to my own writing and a rule that I did not find helpful. I will also discuss reasons and show support as to why I feel this way.
To begin, I found the part in rule number three on how to write a name with their stature helpful. Or as Strunk and White describe it, “no comma, however, should separate a noun from a restrictive term of identification.” The examples they use are “Billy the Kid” rather than “I was shot and just escaped from the hospital after being shot by Billy, the Kid.” Also “William the Conqueror” instead of saying, “I had dinner last night with William, the Conqueror.”
This rule relates to my writing because I write screenplays and it is common to write characters with identifications. For instance in Mafia and children’s movies the characters are known by different names. “Johnny Two Times,” and “Francis the Paste Eater.” This is important for me to know so that when someone reads a script of mine they do not get confused. It can help a lot because of the capital letters in the identification, for instance, “I just went snow boarding with Johnny Two Times.” If there was a comma in there, the separation and the capital letters would not make any sense.
I also agreed with rule number sixteen and found it helpful. This rule prefers “the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract.” This relates to my writing because when telling a story and especially writing out a setting in a screenplay you have to be as specific as possible. You need to know what hand her cigarette is in, what color nail polish she has, and what shade of lipstick she has on. It is very necessary to tell as much detail as you can so the readers can picture it. This rule tells you to do that and I agree with it completely.
It was difficult to find a rule that I did not find helpful at least from the parts I have read. They all relate to writing, how to make it work and function better. The only one I could say is the part in rule number three that talks about placing comas in dates. The rule is to write the date this way by separating the word from the numbers and this causes the numbers to be easily “grasped.” If I read a date written as 3 March 2003 instead of March 3, 2003, it wouldn't really have that much of a different effect. I have read dates written with the month before the numbers and I am used to it. The message is still brought across with or without this rule.
In conclusion, I have reflected on the usefulness of Strunk and White’s Elements of Style and came to a couple of points that help and aid my screenplay writing and one that did not effect it at all. There are a lot of points in this book that relate to how I write and they are useful for when I write screenplays and when I write for school.

---------------It doesn't show my paragraph indentations.

2004-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

I thought everything that was discussed in class was true. You do have to follow a certain format in some cases and some times you don't. I also agreed with the comment about being established. Many writers start off writing the way everyone else does and are not that original. But then once their career takes off they start to write more obscure since they've achieved a higher status than they were at. I can't think of an example of this.

2004-01-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

I think everyone should have their own unique way of writing but still follow the standard format. But of course it depends on what you are writing about. If you're doing a paper on a specific event in history, it is difficult to be unique. There comes a specific time when you really should be creative and when you don't have to be.
I would say just write the way you want but don't deviate from what you are supposed to be writing about. Try and look at things that aren't normally discussed and write about that. If you're writing a fictional story you can make it anyway you want, but you should try and be as original as possible.

2004-01-13T17:28:00.000-08:00

This exercise of writing in pen and not allowing to cross out mistakes slowed down my thought process. This occurred because it made me focus on the fact that I couldn’t edit what I was writing. If I write on a computer I know that I can go back and edit any mistakes I make. But since it was not the case with this, I had to make my writing look legible and make sure my sentances made sense. I did this by thinking it out for a longer time than I would when I write on a computer. If I use a computer I think about what I write then just write, as I did with this exercise, but I’m not looking at it as a final copy, as I was with this.

Note: I do my posts in paragraph format but when I post them, some of the indents dissapear.

2004-01-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

When you type something on a computer you have to first of all know how to use one. This can be a lot more complicated for many than using a pencil. Also, when we type a paper or thoughts on a computer, we don’t always think, we just type, since we can go back and edit. By using a pen and paper we have to be more organized since we can’t go back and edit. If we wanted to we would have to start all over.
Computers can also be overwhelming if your document is lost, accidentally erased, or if the computer freezes and you forgot to save it. There is a lot more responsibility in using a computer than there is in using a pen. When retrieving a document you have to find it and open it. It’s a lot easier to forget where you stored a document on the computer, then it is with a journal or a notebook.

2004-01-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

I did not check the course syllabus until a few minutes ago and realized the first post was supposed to be 250 words, and I had 180. So I am going to use this post to introduce myself a little more.

I have lived in Ypsilanti since I started college, two years ago. Before that I lived in West Bloomfield from third grade until I moved away for college. I graduated from Walled Lake Western in 2001. I have three older siblings, all who live in different states. One brother lives in Chicago, one in Washington D.C., and my sister lives in New York City. The first brother and sister work in advertising and my other brother works at AOL.
In regards to pets, I own a Leopard Gecko which I bought in September.
I don't know what I plan on doing with my Imaginative Writing degree. I'd like to get a job doing film, but if not, anything related to writing fiction.

2004-01-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

I was interested to hear that the first assignment was involving found objects, because it relates to my imaginative writing classes. My first assignment for ENG 335 was to construct the alphabet in it's physical form, no pencil or pen was allowed to be used. I decided to make the alphabet out of small pancakes.

If we were supposed to use this to write more about ourselves I will:

I'm majoring in Imaginative Writing because i feel that I can be more creative with my writing. It's difficult to write a screenplay, and the ones I have written came about from what I knew and experiences of mine. I have had some trouble writing lately, and by taking writing classes at least I can keep writing since it's something I really enjoy doing. I like exploring the different types of writing there are. There are many genres and ways people write, and it's interesting to compare all of these. This relates to move making since screenplays are written in linear and nonlinear formats, and films are shot in different ways.